Grand Theft Automail
by The Voice Of The Voiceless
Summary: Edward Elric moves to Liberty City with his lunatic brother Alphonse. Little did they no people were after them. Trying to stay out of trouble. These 2 certainly know where to find trouble.


Friend: Whooh yeah! There she is...Liberty City

Ed: Yeah.

Friend: You ever been?

Ed: No

Friend: Crazy place Edward.

Ed: So, what are going to do?

Friend: I might come back on board... or I might try to make a go of it. Like  
they say, it is the land of opportunity. I always wanted to make it  
big... own a nice place, get a dog, a house... live the dream!

Ed: Like my brother.

Friend: Oh yeah?

Ed: Yeah, he's got a lot. House, women, cars, parties. He writes me these wild emails. My arm got blown off in the war so. Thanks to nice mechanic in the village. After the war finished, i couldn't get a job, Nobody could. So...i did some dumb things, got involved with a bunch of idiots.

Friend: Ahh, we all do dumb things... that's what makes us human.

Ed: Could be.

[Edward Elric arrives in liberty city. He walks of this ship and waits for his brother to pick him up]

Al: ED, MY BROTHER YOU'RE HERE WELCOME TO AMERICA!

Ed: Good to see you man

Al: Its soo good to see you brother I can't believe you made it! Ha! Shit... I have to tell you I had quite a night last night. Two women! The land of opportunity. I've made it! [stumbling around] Shit, man, I'm still a touch drunk.

Ed: A touch? Alphonse, come on, let's go... to the mansion, eh?

Al: Yes, the mansion! Whoa. [stumbles] Maybe you should drive...

Ed: Well, maybe i should.

Al: Sure sure.

Ed: Hey, you said you have a sports scar, all i see is a cab.

Al: Eeeeh. Its in the shop come on! The mansion is just up the road, i'll let you know when where there!

[Ed drives to the "mansion"]

Ed: So, why wont you show me around the city?

Al: Fucking terrorists!

Ed: Huh?

Al: Terrorists. There's been a big scare and you can't go across the bridges so good. Brother it's been too long... you should have come out earlier. Think of all the girls you've been missing out on!

Ed: Amestris has women too!

Al: Yes, but only locals. Here we have white, black, The Xingese and the Drachman's, the people from Aerugo all across the world. every possible choice. The city is like a big Uder Ice Cream shop: thirty-six flavors of titty. Cove beach is like a little corner of East Amerstris, where the housewives can relax, while the husbands are at work.

Ed: What a charming image. Cove Beach, next to the docks. Immigrants here do not make it very far from the boats they come in on.

Al: No, everyone seems happy where they are. It reminds them of the Black Sea or something. Is just temporary for us though.

[Ed arrives at the "Mansion" which is really a trashed apartment]

Ed: This is the mansion?

Al: Just a temporary place. The mansion is coming Brother .That's the dream... follow me.

[They enter the trashy apartment]

Al: Come in, come in! Make yourself at home... what's mine is yours! [stamps on cockroach] Got him! Little bastard. If he paid some rent I wouldn't care. [wiping off shoe] Oh... shit... oh, that's not nice. Ah, Brother it's so good to see you! Yeah! Hmm... [drops down on bed] Shit... well, I needed to change anyway... So!

[Ed looks around in disgust]

Ed: So...

Al: So...

Ed: Sooooo, is this it? This hellhole you told me about?

Al: What?

Ed: Wheres the luxury condo? wheres the sports car? wheres Barbra with big ass breast and Stephanie who sucks like a vacuum?

Al: What are you talking about?

Ed: In you're letters to Mother, in you're letters to me. All i hear about is mr big, mr Alphonse Elric, living the American dream. Sports cars, women, money, the beach. Opportunity. I come here, and the only thing big about your life is the cockroaches.

Al: That's right. I got the best cockroaches, I got the best dirt!

Ed: HAHA! Screw you, you idiot!

Al: Okay, I'm an idiot, but you must admit I have the best line in bullshit you ever heard.

Ed: Yeah, this i know dumb ass.

Al: But here, all I needed was one good guy. One good guy, I could do well. Not take over the world, but do okay. Now, maybe I have this. But what about you. What about you Brother?

Ed: What About Me?

Al: Well... why you leave home after all this time? First, I hear you're running around with the wrong kind, then I hear you joined the merchant navy, now you're here. You never tell me anything.

Ed: No.

Al: What you do mean no?

Ed: No, i never tell you anything...Another time

Al: Oooh, mystery man... strange and exotic sailor! What happened? Did your captain make you pregnant?

Ed: Screw you. No, no, it's nothing like that. The ships were fine. It was before that, two things. You remember, during the war... we did some bad things and bad things happened to us. I look at this automail arm, and it represents the bad things in the past. I was very young, and very angry. Maybe that is no excuse.

[Al Falls Asleep]

Ed: Al...ALPHONSE! Are you sleeping you Dumb prick, COME ON!

Al: Huh! No! No way! What's the time? Shit... I've got to get the cab back. It's on a shift. Brother, I've got to run, come meet me at the cab office.

Ed: What?

Al: It's easy. Out the door, turn left, then the first left at the diner...

Ed: What are you talking about, im new here.

Al: go down one block and turn right on Iroquois... then walk all the way down and we're right there on the left of the corner of Cisco Street. It's really flash. We got lots of girls and some incredible motors... Give me a hug. Good to have you here Bro, I've got something for you. [phone rings] Oh, damn... damn, damn, damn! [to phone] Yes, Mr Greed,  
sorry, forgive me, okay, no... no. eh? Oh, okay, bye... yes, no, uh, okay.

[Al Leaves]

Ed: What the hell...


End file.
